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21 Feb Written by  Ladi Opaluwa

The Demystification of Ese Walter

Remember her? Ese Walter; the lawyer, writer, and radio personality, but better known as the woman who wrote publicly of her affair with COZA Church’s Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo, or as some (defenders of the gospel) would say, the lady who claims to have had an affair with the Pastor. Either way, you remember now.

Well, I once had an encounter with her but did not realise my fortune until her wedding pictures emerged online some days ago and I thought, darn! She was the lady with the peculiarly short gown and long hair and nails, with whom I shared a table some months ago at the launch of Studio 24’s flagship store.

So while I was fixated on meeting Brandy, the American musician, I missed out on the sideshow right before me and a chance to get an autograph. One never expects to meet people like her who have come to fame unconventionally. If I wanted to see M.I, for instance, I will go to an M.I concert, or to a Last Flight to Abuja premiere to see Omotola. Where does one go to purposely collide with Ese Walter? Besides, I believed that a Nigerian living in Nigeria could never have the aptitude to kiss and tell― there is no polite way of putting it.For that reason I thought that Ese, like Sahara Reporters, existed only in virtual space, uploaded her bombshell from a safe location abroad, shielded from physical reaction and far from the madding crowd. But there she was in Wuse 2.

As an unidentified, random guest, she was interesting enough. She kept reapplying her lip-gloss in the course of her stay at the event. She seemed the centre of a group of three girls. The group enthusiastically participated in the question and answer games the MC invented to make pleasant the wait for Brandy. I remember trying to put them into one of two categories: real home-bred ajebutter and just another-girl-makes-it-big-in-Abuja.

When she stood to leave with her friends in tow, I fell in awe at the height of their shoes. As they stood by her car for last minute chit chat, I took pictures of them from the ankles down just to show what girls put their feet in. Had I known, I would have asked for a photo session instead.

Good thing I didn’t know though. I would have stared at her for far too long. It’s unlikely she would have cautioned me though, having recently retweeted Jon Winkur’s (@AdviceToWriters) tweet: “The writer should never be ashamed of staring.” Assuming retweets are endorsements. 

And after I have recovered myself, I would have launched a series of questions beginning with an inquiry into the authenticity of her story. And though I may believe her, I will never know the truth, because there would be another truth with its set of believers casting a shadow of doubt over mine. As she has succeeded in polarising the public on a private matter, the important task would be to probe her motive for a public confession. Fame? Catharsis?

I have read part of her story and consider her a good story teller, or at least a writer with good material that has entertained people in need of comic relief. The story, after all, has not upset the lives of the characters in any major way. It is a fantastic tale in which both characters seem to be living happily thereafter. The antagonist, Pastor Biodun, has remained married and for his trouble is said to have received from the American televangelist Mike Murdock the gift of a Rolls Royce. And the narrator, Ese Walter, well, she got fame, and then she got married.

Dog